Monday, August 11

On the Frequently Asked Question "Pilih Indo ATAU Malay?"


                                                                                                                                                                
Recently, a lot of people have been asking me such a trivial question which I've found kind of hard to answer:

" FAJREEE, LO PILIH INDO ATAU MALAY??" 

Well, you guys are so lucky today because I'm about to answer that particularly annoying question right here right now. 

Brace yourselves, people!! (?)

So yeah, in case of 'Indo' as in Indonesia and 'Malay' as in Malaysia, the countries I've been residing these last few years, I would go:

- Indo for the food, Malay for the environment.


- Indo for the beaches, Malay for the highlands.


- Indo for holidays, Malay for study days.


- Indo for playing around, Malay for shopping things.


- Indo for family and friends, Malay for international acquaintances and professional colleagues.

- Indo for gossiping shits about other people on a daily basis, Malay for minding my own businesses and being selfish individual most of the time.


- Indo for modest personality, Malay for sophisticated facility.

- Indo for being too liberal to be conservative, Malay for being too conservative to be liberal.


- Indo for being a bit superior, Malay for being so freaking small and inferior.


- Indo for the richness of cultural values, Malay for the high tolerance on the existing differences.

- Indo for the addictive hecticness-on-the-road and the enjoyably contagious loudness of the people, Malay for the more tolerable traffic congestion and way much better transportation system.



- INDO AND MALAY FOR THE EQUALLY AMAZING SPIRITS OF MULTICULTURALISM!! -


Conclusion: To answer your "Indo ATAU Malay?" question, I'll sadly have to go with "ATAU". Muahahahaha.


(( MAAF YA ))

(( I JUST CAN'T, I LOVE BOTH OF THE COUNTRIES SO VERY MUCH ))

Tuesday, July 1

EXCUSE ME I JUST HAVE TO POST THIS

A few days ago I've received this question on my my ask.fm page: 

"Bang Najmul Fajri, menurutmu umur berapa yang matang nikah? Give me some reasons!"


                          



My answer was: 

"First things first, I'm so not happy with the fact that here in our local community it has been socially constructed so well that you have certain ages to settle down. 

Lo nikah umur 23 - 26, and all the people believe that you have perfectly made the most right decision.

Lo mutusin nikah in your 30s, you are suddenly the talk of the town! Countless of speculations regarding your well-being might arise out of empty air and hit your wall *rolling eyes*

I mean come on, age does not define how mature of a person you are and marriage is not a petty thing you could just decide to do whenever you want.

Getting married means you are about to share your WHOLE life with somebody else for God's sake.

Your flaws, your golds, your thoughts, your idealism, your belief, your responsibilities, your dreams, your secrets.

E V E R Y T H I N G.

Really dude, it is not simply about how old you are, it is all about how ready you are! So, no, I won't tell you what is the best age to marry.

Because trust me, when you are ready, you just know it 

#JustSharing

Thursday, June 5

On World Environment Day, the MDG7, and My Home Islands (Bangka Belitung)

Happy World Environment Day, fellow earthlings! Well honestly, I personally believe that we should really commemorate this particular day not only on June 5 annually, but every single day of our lives. I repeat, it should be happened EVERY SINGLE DAY OF OUR LIVES, DEAR HUMANS! For we interact with the environment every second of our days. We should really be more considerate and conscious knowing the fact that we are all sharing the planet Earth together, thus each of us is holding an equal responsibility to sustain our nature. Seriously man, there is no single excuse available for you not to join the global movement to protect our planet. Wait, there is one actually: GO MOVE TO ANOTHER PLANET! 
You need to always realize that each of your actions counts, really. Picking up rubbish on the street, turning off the lights and electronic devices in your house when you are not around, separating your household waste, traveling with your bicycles instead of your cars, bring your own Eco-Bag whenever you go shopping to reduce the usage of plastic bags, and even making such a crappy campaign writing like what I am doing right now does count (I guess). This time, I would like to share some information (and personal opinion) on the MDGs, especially MDG7 and the condition as well as responses of the people in my home province (Bangka Belitung, Indonesia) have been contributing. It will be long and boring, yet if you survive reading it until the very end of it I'd definitely wish you to have a much better life. Hahaha.

The MDGs

The Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) were established in 2000 as an ambitious set of international targets for development improvements during the first 15 years of the new century. Their creation marked a historical achievement and galvanized political support around improving conditions for all people, throughout the world. They permitted governments and other key stakeholders such as donor organizations, foundations and the private sector to “speak the same language” for the first time about international development (Lundine et al., 2013). The MDGs originated from the United Nations Millennium Declaration. The Declaration asserted that every individual has dignity; and hence, the right to freedom, equality, and a basic standard of living that includes freedom from hunger and violence and encourages tolerance and solidarity. The MDGs set concrete targets and indicators for poverty reduction in order to achieve the rights set forth in the Declaration.
Moreover, the MDGs are globally known to be comprised of eight categories of measurable goals for improving national level outcomes including:
  • MDG1: Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger
  • MDG2: Achieve universal primary education
  • MDG3: Promote gender equality and empower women
  • MDG4: Reduce child mortality
  • MDG5: Improve maternal health
  • MDG6: Combat Malaria, HIV/AIDS and other diseases
  • MDG7: Ensure environmental sustainability
  • MDG8: Global partnership for development


Indonesia’s Stance on the MDGs

The MDGs are not new to Indonesia. Since the development program existed, program towards the MDGs target had been implemented. The government of Indonesia, coordinated by the Ministry of National Development Planning (BAPPENAS) and the special envoy for the achievement of the MDGs, has taken a whole of government approach to coordinate resources and delegate authority to achieve the MDG targets by 2015 (Murniningtyas and Widyono, 2008). The MDGs guided the 2010-2014 National Development plan and the actions of the responsible ministries such as health, education and the environment.
Henceforth, continued progress will mean improvement in the lives of millions of Indonesians and, increasingly, those who are the most at risk and hardest to reach. Under the process, Indonesia set multiple national-level goals that addressed each of the MDGs and it has made steady progress on most, achieving several of the targets. This essay, however, focuses specifically on the MDG7 whose main concern is to ensure the environmental sustainability.
Taking a bachelor degree on environmental science and management in a slightly more developed neighbor country these past three and a half years, I personally have come to realize that Indonesia has been encountering tougher challenges on showing significant achievement towards the MDG7, particularly in terms of geographical factors and the general level of environmental awareness of the society compared to other ASEAN countries such as Malaysia and Singapore. Under MDG7, Indonesia has not halted deforestation and emitted more carbon dioxide in 2008 compared to 2000, yet has improved protection of fisheries and biologically diverse land areas nonetheless. Other than that, according to the data obtained by Kantor Urusan Khusus Presiden RI Untuk Millenium Development Goals (the President of Republic of Indonesia’s Office for MDGs’ Special Affairs), our country has also been performing constant increment in the case of the percentage of provision of clean drinking waters and appropriate sanitation systems in both urban and rural areas.

Bangka Belitung and the MDG7

As one of the youngest provinces in Indonesia, which was coincidentally established in the exact same year when the global movement towards the MDGs was welcomed and started worldwide, Bangka Belitung has not been performing disappointing contribution at achieving the MDG7 on global environmental sustainability. In fact, it has been showcasing such an impressive continual improvement. This showed by a number of environmental awards (i.e. Piala Adipura, Piala Adiwiyata) which had been granted by the Ministry of Environment to several districts and local schools these last couple of years.
Besides that, the establishment of certain non-political social organizations and/or youth communities which aim to increase the environmental awareness of the local society (e.g. KOPHI Babel, Komunitas Duta Lingkungan Hidup, Pucuk Idat Nature Lovers Organization, etc.) exhibit the fact that people of Bangka Belitung are actually willing to contribute at achieving the global mission to ensure environmental sustainability as declared in the MDG7. There also have been a number of creative local initiatives which have successfully tried to instill better environmental understanding and mind set into the mentality of Bangka Belitung society. For instances, the recent “Pemilihan Duta Lingkungan Hidup” program and “Bike to School and Pasir Padi Beach Clean-Up” campaign.
As a local youth who have personally participated in those local environmental initiatives, I strongly believe that they have enlightened a significant number of local people on how we are actually sharing the same side of the earth together and thus each of us indeed has an equal responsibility to sustain our environment. Throughout the “Pemilihan Duta Lingkungan Hidup” program, I have met a number of local young generations who are really willing to execute innovative green ideas in our own backyard, yet they have been facing discouraging factors such as financial constraint and lack of supports from local authorities to do so.
On the other hand, “Bike to School and Pasir Padi Beach Clean-Up” campaign which was mainly organized by Bangka Belitung Police Department had successfully broken national record by gathering up to 6000 students and staffs from local educational institutions as well as the public to support the reduction of regional CO2 emission and to encourage them to proactively keep our tourism assets clean. Even though these initiatives might be considered as rewards-driven, I gladly reckon them as good signs that public, government, private entities and established local NGOs would be willing to work hand-in-hand to contribute more significant roles at achieving the national targets of the MDG7.

Illegal tin mining is sadly still the prominent prohibiting factor
      
      Bangka and Belitung produce 90% of Indonesia's tin, and Indonesia is the world's second-largest exporter of the metal (Hodal, 2012). Tin mining on Bangka Belitung islands off Sumatra has brought wealth, but at a price; it is literally eating away at the land. The scale of the environmental damage on the Bangka Belitung islands can be most clearly seen from the air, revealing a lunar landscape of craters locally known as “Lubang Camuy” and hundreds of highly acidic, turquoise lakes created by centuries of largely unregulated tin mining. Thousands of small-scale traditional and often illegal mining operations sprung up in the late 1990s when the Asian financial crisis wiped out jobs in other sectors of the economy. Efforts in recent years to control illegal mining on the islands have reverberated thousands of miles away by spooking world markets for tin in global financial centers such as London.
         The good news is several of Indonesia's small tin smelters in Bangka Belitung stopped production since last year and will likely stay shut for the rest of this year because of the drop in tin prices. Those small-scale or illegal mining in Indonesia was also being curbed as shallow higher grade alluvial reserves had been rapidly depleted, while production costs had risen. In relation to that fact, Indonesia's government has also said it will set an annual tin production quota of 100,000 tons from next year in a bid to reduce environmental degradation in the main tin-mining areas (Davies and Wulandari, 2013). Bangka Belitung local authorities stated that the dependence on mining sector had to be cut and they would gradually try to stop small-scale traditional and often illegal mining operations by encouraging local people to work instead in industries such as tourism, maritime and agriculture. 
         Nevertheless, even with a slowdown in small-scale mining, efforts to restore damaged land, such as by replanting trees, were proceeding very slowly. A local official estimated that 619,000 hectares had been damaged by tin mining and it costs 5-10 million rupiah per hectare to rehabilitate these areas. Hence, it is indeed undebatable that tin mining is sadly still the prominent prohibiting factor to regionally succeed the MDG7 on environmental sustainability here in Bangka Belitung. But we shall never lose hope and stop merely relying on government capacity for truly all it takes is the imperative supporting roles played by local young generations, private entities, and environmental NGOs. Together we surely might locally succeed the MDG7 and create a better planet to live in.

* * *

REFERENCES

Davies, E. and Wulandari, F. (2008). Indonesia's tin islands: blessed or cursed? Retrieved on 15 May 2014, from http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/10/21/us-indonesia-tin-idUSTRE49K0MF20081021.

Hodal, K. (2012). Death Metal: Tin Mining in Indonesia. Retrieved on 15 May 2014, from http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2012/nov/23/tin-mining-indonesia-bangka.

Kantor Urusan Khusus Presiden RI Untuk Millenium Development Goals. (2013). MDG 7: Memastikan Kelestarian Lingkungan Hidup. Retrieved on 15 May 2014 from http://indonesiamdgs.org/articles/view/mdg-7-memastikan-kelestarian-lingkungan-hidup-1.

Lundine, J., Hadikusumah, R.Y., and Sudrajat, T. (2013). Indonesia’s progress on the 2015 Millenium  Development Goals. Indonesia 360, 3(3): 54-66.

Murniningtyas, E., and Widyono. (2008). MDG Indonesia: Status and the Way Forward. Unpublished paper presented at the UN-DESA UN-ESCAP MDG Workshop, Bangkok.



Friday, March 28

"Apa Kabar Mamak di Sana?" (Sebuah Surat)


Mamak, apa kabar Mamak di sana?

Besar harapan Fajri Mamak sedang tersenyum bahagia, senyuman lebar Mamak yang unik dan selalu menentramkan hati itu. Fajri sehat Mak, semakin hari semakin subur saja badan ini. Terkadang minder juga, tapi yang penting sehat kan ya, Mak?

Bulan kemarin kuliah S1 Fajri di negeri seberang sudah selesai, Mak. Anak bungsu Mamak ini sebentar lagi akan diwisuda dan menjadi sarjana. Nilai Fajri juga bagus-bagus Mak, salah satu yang terbaik di angkatan kami. Kalau Mamak lihat, pasti Mamak langsung menghadiahi Fajri uang jajan tambahan seperti biasanya dulu. Fajri ingin berburu beasiswa lagi untuk melanjutkan pendidikan ke jenjang yang lebih tinggi. Mohon doa dan restunya ya, Mak.

Oh iya, Baba’ tanggal 12 Maret kemarin berulang tahun yg ke-63, Mak. Syukur Alhamdulillah, kesehatan beliau semakin hari semakin membaik. Hanya saja, keras kepala dan sikap dingin nya itu loh Mak, semakin menjadi. Tidak jarang kami beradu pendapat sampai mata merah. Tapi Mamak jangan khawatir, Fajri akan berusaha menjaga dan merawat beliau sampai kapanpun. Mamak tahu sendiri lah betapa sayangnya Fajri sama Baba’.

Ayuk Maya, anak sulung Mamak yang tidak kalah galaknya dari Mamak juga sudah kembali menetap di Indonesia bersama keluarga kecilnya. Bang Budi, suaminya, sudah menyelesaikan studi masternya di Australian National University dengan sukses. Cucu-cucu Mamak, Al Fatih dan Aisyah, sudah akan mengenyam pendidikan di taman kanak-kanak dan sekolah dasar. Bukan main lucunya dua bocah itu, Mak. Sungguh pandai mulut mereka berceloteh dalam Bahasa Inggris.

Tahu tidak, Mak, bukan main rezeki dari Tuhan untuk anak Mamak satu ini beberapa tahun belakangan. Sudah Fajri jelajahi berbagai negara di dunia ini dengan usaha keras Fajri sendiri. Seperti mimpi rasanya, Mak, bisa mendapat banyak beasiswa untuk mewakili kampung dan negara kita tercinta dalam kegiatan-kegiatan berkelas dunia serta bertemu orang-orang luar biasa. Bangga kan Mamak sama Fajri, Mak? Semoga saja Fajri bisa terus semangat dalam mengukir prestasi dan tidak besar kepala ya, Mak.

Mamak jangan khawatir disana ya, Mak. Walaupun Fajri sekarang tinggal dirumah kita seorang diri, tapi Fajri dikelilingi sahabat-sahabat yang luar biasa baiknya. Yuk Nap, pengasuh Fajri sejak kecil yang juga orang kepercayaan Mamak, juga masih setia berletih-letih membantu semua keperluan Fajri disini. Sungguh mulia hati beliau, Mak. Dalam hati Fajri berjanji, nanti kalau Fajri sudah sukses, ingin Fajri berangkatkan beliau ke tanah suci, Mak.

Fajri sekarang sudah lumayan mandiri dan tidak cengeng lagi, Mak. Tapi masih sering ceroboh, boros, sholat masih sering bolos dan membaca Al Qur’an pun sudah jarang. Maafkan Fajri ya, Mak. Fajri janji akan terus berusaha keras untuk menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik, menjadi anak kebanggaan Mamak yang hebat.

Tadi pagi, Fajri dan Yuk Nap berziarah mengunjungi pusara Mamak dan Bang Fauzan. Fajri bacakan surat Yaasin agar Mamak dan Abang tenang disisi-Nya. Fajri taburkan bunga-bunga penuh warna diatas tanah pemakaman yang basah oleh hujan. Biar cantik dan senantiasa wangi.

Mamak, sudah seharian ini entah kenapa Fajri rindu sekali sama Mamak. Tidak biasanya mata ini tak kuasa untuk berhenti meneteskan air mata mengenang keindahan sosok Mamak.

Mamak, apa kabar Mamak di sana?

Saturday, September 28

The New Life Milestones

Faj, when abundance of happiness strikes your life, find any way to share them with people inside and outside your circle. Because shared felicity would double its natural healing effect. Writings, photographs, drawings, conversations, anything would work!” – A Good Friend I Met in Brazil.

     With the basis of that very thoughtful wisdom from a good friend, I am here to share certain happiness I have encountered recently in my very ordinary life. Interpreting this as a showing-off attempt of a realistic attention-seeker is your call. My call is that I earned all this happiness with all my sweats and by sharing it here I’m having a good expectation to inspire my loved ones not to give up easily, but more into persistently maintaining their perseverance at achieving their ultimate goals of life. So ladies and gentlemen, I present you, my recent milestones of life!

1. My very first almost-four-flat GPA.

        Throughout most of the previous semesters of my uni life, the appearances of B(s) or C(s) in my examination results were always there. They said it's normal here in UM, being first ranked uni in Malaysia, it demands extraordinary performance from the students. They said if you can score above 3.30 out of 4.00, you are considered as above-average students. They said due to its extremely high standard, getting 3.50 in UM can be equalized as getting four-flat in other universities throughout the country. I simply don't believe in all those myths. There must have been something wrong with the way I study. Almost gave up trying to find my way back to become a first-class student, I've found the answer last semester. I was so proud of this particular academic achievement. Especially after mentally-suffered from final year thesis project. Huge pressure, pretty tough times. My hard works were being paid off so well at the end. I won the battle :')

2. Internship experience with UMCARES.
         University of Malaya Environmental Secretariat was established 5 years ago. It's a great campus-wide environmental initiative and I have participated as a volunteer in a few of its programs since I entered uni life. This year, I had to do a 2-month long industrial training program as a requirement to finish my undergraduate studies and UMCARES agreed to have me as one of their interns. It was really such a fruitful practical experience. I met inspiring environmentalists, worked with remarkable supervisor and colleagues, made good friends with other interns, and experienced a conducive-yet-highly-educating working atmosphere. Oh, not to mention that I earned some money, too! :D But the most important thing is the fact that I finally came to realize that I've been very busy finding international platforms to create big changes, forgetting the fact that I have so many of them in my own backyard. I've been completely ignoring the "think globally, act locally" principle! It was indeed a milestone of life after all (and a slap in the face, too). Please kindly like UMCARES facebook page here!

3. Visiting Europe and performing in the United Nations Assembly Hall.


        Yes, visiting Europe was always on my things-to-do-before-I-die list. But man, it never crossed my mind that I would ever step my feet on the United Nations headquarter. It was all started with me daring myself to join global audition to be one of the international core casts for a musical performance entitled "2050 - The Future We Want" organized by Peace Child International and Green Cross International. Long story short, they were apparently impressed by my performance video and CV that I made it to the top 70, went through online interview session and  finally made it to the top 25 of all applicants coming from all over the world.

       Yes, it was unbelievable! I flew to Geneva in the middle of last August, met many important people, worked with unbelievably talented young people from many different countries, being the only Southeast Asian of the force promoting the global youth voice, environmental sustainability and world peace through a platform that suits me so well: Performing Arts! Oh, two of my biggest dreams also came into realities: I went to Paris and kinda created a beautiful family filled with people whose different races, beliefs, and skin colors. I'm definitely gonna write about them later on. It was indeed the greatest 25 days I have ever had in my life! I learned so many life lessons that I could write a book based only on the experience. Hahaha. Anyway, if you wish to watch our performance, please click here and here to see all the pictures taken during that prestigious event :)
President of Green Cross International, Alexander Likhotal (in the middle of the bunch) with international musical core casts coming from all over the world and David Woolcombe, the director.
4. Featuring in a local media.

  
   It's another slap in the face, really. I had been featured in a local media for a few times before, but it's a slightly different case this time. When I was invited to be interviewed by the media, all I expected is another small article about a young high-achiever on a small corner of the last page of the newspaper. But when my cousin tagged me the article on FB, I was crying like "No, this is not happening! Not a full page of my story! Not in the effin' "Inspiring People" section!" 
  
  Yes, I totally appreciate the way they recognized my achievement, but I don't think I'm already deserved to be publicly acknowledged as an inspiring person. I'm pretty sure I am not mentally ready to be a good role model yet. Nonetheless, I could do nothing about it. Me trying to be positive believes that it is what you get when your hard efforts are being highly appreciated by the society: Popularity. Haha. But never expect me to let the society defines who I am. Naah. I'm simply gonna be myself, with all big dreams I am trying to reach on top of all obnoxious weaknesses I might have to offer the world.

5. Graduating from Young Leaders for Indonesia 2013 Leadership Program.
   Young Leaders for Indonesia (YLI) is one of the most prestigious leadership programs in Indonesia initiated by a world-class management consulting firm, McKinsey & Company. I was named as one of Top 60 successful participants of this year's batch six months ago, after a competitive selection processes with hundreds of other applicants coming from all over Indonesia and overseas. It's a full scholarship worth USD 1500 in the form of 6-month long leadership training series where all 60 of us had to attend 3 leadership forums every 2 months, filled with most inspiring Indonesian leaders as keynote speakers (e.g Anies BaswedanBasuki 'Ahok' Tjahaja PurnamaSandiaga UnoHandry Satriago, you name it), provided with leadership workshops and learning sessions, and also conducted individual leadership project and group project in between the forums.

   I would say it was the most fruitful experience throughout my entire leadership journey so far. I went through both motivating and demotivating turning points a lot, those almost-gave-up and my-spirit-is-burned moments, and well-equipped with a lot of new lessons and softskills on how to be a good future leader for myself and for the nation. Not to mention the connections and friendships made with the other 59 inspiring young leaders of Indonesia. Ah, I was so grateful to gain such an experience :') I have graduated from the program last week and am now officially a proud YLI alumnus! I highly recommend you all Indonesian future leaders to give it a try next year!

6. Keep covering songs and posting them on Youtube and SoundCloud.

     I was told that one of the habits of highly effective people is that they focus on the things they naturally do well - to remind themselves of their talents and strengths and to overcome discouragement. Thus, I've been keeping this not-so-humble activity as regular as possible. I seriously don't care anymore about how many views and comments I get, or how many people like and dislike my covered songs. All I care is this peculiar hobby helps me a lot to stay positive whenever I'm living in a cloud and everything seems pointless and negative. So yeah, the followings are the four most recent covered songs I've posted on my Youtube Channel and SoundCloud Account :)






     Well, that's practically all happiness I need to share this time. I always keep reminding myself that every single of it started with a dream and none of my dreams are unachievable as long as I am willing to put my hardest efforts to make them into realities. After all, life is a revolving arena. When you are up, prepare yourself to go down. When you are down, take a short break and fight back to reach the top again as soon as possible, as hard as you can. So, that's how my story of happiness goes, keen on sharing me yours? ;)

Kuala Lumpur, 28 September 2013, 5:00 am in the morning.


Fajri Usman    

Thursday, May 30

Bachelor's Thesis vs. Germany Trip

The so-called Bachelor's Thesis
I was motionlessly staring at the ceiling of the building, glancing awhile at the empty air, then staring back at the ceiling. Smiling from ear to ear, then frowning like one of  the guys from that Grumpy Old Men film for a moment, then smiling as widely as before again, then continued my thoughtful frowning back again.

That fatuous moment happened for almost half an hour. I was drowning in a deep reflective contemplation.

I have just submitted my bachelor's thesis earlier and simultaneously decided to give up all efforts to make it to Germany next week for an international student event in which I have luckily got selected among thousands of people to attend.

Those mixed feelings I have not been experienced for so long have eventually filled up the heart again. Those feelings which arise when the overwhelming relief and sadness choose your life as their meeting point. I'm sad and relieved at the same time. I'm 'slieved'! (don't bother to check the dictionary, it's my own vocabulary).

I'm relieved because such an energy-consuming and mental-excruciating anguish has finally come to its end. I'm sad because I over-estimated my capacity, overly confident that I could manage my time to succeed  in both my academic and non-academic undertakings throughout this particular semester. It seemed like I am winning the battle at the beginning, but I'm not. In fact, I'm completely losing it without even having the slightest realization about it. The bachelor's thesis won the battle alone.

Another thing is submitting my bachelor's thesis doesn't mean I'll be graduating this year. I'm still gonna have internship and some compulsory subjects to be taken in one (hopefully the last) whole semester. The fact that my campus has changed the minimum study duration up to 7 semesters made the feelings even worse. The suffer shall continue, soldier.

But wait, cancelling my trip to Germany this time doesn't mean my seemingly-impossible dream to visit another European country wouldn't come into reality this year, right? Having one more semester to be accomplished could also mean I'm actually granted an extension of time to achieve what I have not been able to achieve yet, couldn't it? The other bright side is I finally came to realize how I have got much better at prioritizing things now.

That's it. I'm being given a longer time to improve my CGPA so that I could go to my dream universities for my further studies. A longer period to look for scholarships to step my feet on the famously breathtaking land of Europe. Another chance to right my wrongs, to achieve the ultimate goals of my life. For that, I shall not lose my faith. For that, these mixed feelings shall be remedied before they generate more severe wounds.

That's it. I saw this wrongly before. God is actually granting me another opportunities. Chances that I should never ignore.

Yes, that's right, I'm still winning this battle.


The dejected gentleman who is still continuing his struggle to win the battle.

Thursday, May 9

"Doa untuk Maya"


Namanya Maya Uspasari dan tulisan ini bukanlah sebuah cerpen ataupun surat cinta.

Maya adalah seorang wanita penuh akurasi dan presisi yang terkadang agak sulit mengendalikan emosi. Meskipun dianugerahi kecantikan hati dan fisik diatas rata-rata oleh Tuhan, arogansi tidak pernah ada dalam kamusnya. Ia terlatih untuk selalu menjunjung tinggi independensi dan mengedepankan transparansi sejak kecil. Tipikal anak sulung.

Jarak umur kami sepuluh tahun. Kami tumbuh dirumah yang sama, dibesarkan oleh orang-orang hebat yang sama. Bedanya, aku tumbuh sebagai bungsu yang selalu mengincar superioritas sedangkan ia tumbuh sebagai sulung yang seringkali terpaksa menjadi inferior demi adik-adiknya.

Physical features kami begitu serupa. Tak jarang orang-orang berasumsi bahwa aku ini versi laki-lakinya dan dia adalah versi perempuanku. Aku memanggilnya Ayuk, panggilan paling mainstream untuk kakak perempuan di kampung kami dan beberapa daerah di southern Sumatra.

Ya, Maya terlahir sebagai kakak sulung dan saudara perempuanku satu-satunya. Perempuan kurang beruntung yang sudah terjebak diduniaku selama lebih dari 20 tahun. Kasihan. (Hahaha)

Entah tanpa disadarinya atau tidak, ia selalu menjadi role model bagi dua adik laki-lakinya. Dari hal yang paling superfisial seperti gaya tersenyum, tulisan tangan, sense of humor, sikap sewaktu membaca, dan memandang lawan bicara sampai hal-hal yang sangat profound seperti cara menyelesaikan masalah, mengutarakan argumentasi, dan mendemonstrasikan afeksi terhadap orang-orang yang dicintainya. Mungkin tanpa mencontoh tingkah polahnya, aku sekarang masih akan menjadi seorang introvert yang bahkan tidak punya nyali untuk sekedar bersosialisasi dengan sepupu-sepupu terdekat.

Kedekatan kami sangat eksesif. Waktu kecil, aku tidak bisa berhenti menangis berhari-hari dipelukan ibu saat ia harus meninggalkan kampung halaman untuk melanjutkan studinya. Aku merasa sangat cemburu saat ia menemukan pendamping hidupnya dan mengakhiri masa lajangnya. Aku menangis bahagia sembunyi-sembunyi saat ia dianugerahi Allah anak pertamanya. Aku tidak bisa tidur waktu ia dan kedua keponakan kecilku harus menempuh perjalanan berjam-jam, menyusul suaminya yang diberi kesempatan untuk berguru ke negeri kangguru. Entah bertepuk sebelah tangan atau tidak, tapi kecintaanku terhadap wanita satu ini levelnya infinity. Limitless. Tak terbatas, tak mengenal horizon.

Seperti saudara-saudara kandung pada umumnya, we don't always wear the same shoes and travel in the same boat. Kami berselisih paham. Kami bertengkar. Menurutku ia terkadang terlalu berpihak pada spontanitas, menurutnya aku berusaha terlalu keras untuk menjadi seorang visioner. Menurutku sikap dan pola pikirnya terkadang kelewat konservatif, menurutnya aku seringkali salah dalam menginterpretasi dan mengimplementasi istilah liberalism dan open-mindedness. Menurutku ia kadang kurang sensitif, menurutnya tingkat sensitifitasku sering diatas kewajaran.

Tapi untungnya, kami selalu berhasil menemukan cara mediasi yang tepat saat emotional disputes tersebut mulai naik ke permukaan. Mungkin karena kami berdua sangat paham bahwa being siblings maknanya tidak jauh berbeda dengan interdependensi emosional. Kami akan selalu saling membutuhkan dan mencintai satu sama lain sampai kapanpun. Sejak kepergian Ibu, Maya selalu menempati posisi teratas dalam daftar VVIW (Very Very Important Woman) di hidupku.

Hari ini Maya genap berumur 32 tahun dan tulisan ini sebenarnya sudah rampung sejak pekan lalu.

Doa-doa indah untuknya kukirim setiap hari kepadaNya. Semoga Maya tambah cantik hati dan parasnya, semoga ia  dan keluarga kecilnya senantiasa diberi kemudahan serta kemurahan rezeki, semoga impian-impiannya dalam hidup bisa segera tercapai, semoga keras kepala dan nafsu makannya cepat berkurang, dll. Namun, di hari spesialnya ini, aku hanya mengirimkan satu doa untuk Maya kepada Tuhan. Satu doa yang kukirim dengan intensitas yang lebih tinggi dari biasanya.

"Semoga dalam rentang waktu satu tahun kedepan, sosok Maya dalam hidupku dan ayahku tidak akan berubah sama sekali. Senantiasa indah dan sederhana seperti sekarang. Semoga dengan jarak dan waktu yang memisahkan kami, batin kami akan selalu dekat  dan semakin merapat"

As simple as that. 


Selamat Ulang Tahun, YukI love you so much!

Wednesday, April 24

Quick Updates!

Hello, abandoned journal! Just wanna post some quick updates this time. I promise to write more here once I've finished all my thesis businesses, the deadline is getting closer and I've been performing such a snail progress so far >..<  So yeap, bottles of luck are utterly needed here! Countless of unfortunate events have been showing their asses lately, but so did the fortunate ones :) Lemme share the great ones for the sake of helping me to get the negativity riddance:

1. Older Interest: Applying for International Youth Empowerment Events.

I am always known as one of those youth conference mafia of the town. I couldn't help it, the global competition to get selected as delegate of your country is just so addictive. Once you got it, you would crave for some more. When you failed, it always taught you not to give up easily and keep doing more trials. As you can see below, there are three prestigious events I've got selected to attend lately. I want to go so bad, yet some academic and financial constraints are still blocking my way. Nonetheless, it's not Fajri Usman if he won't fight hard to reach his dreams. May Allah ease my way..

ISWI, Young Leaders for Indonesia, UN Musical in UN Headquarter. Would be insanely amazing experiences!


2. Newer Interest: Making Covers on Youtube.

I was told that singing and performing arts have always been my biggest passions since I was a fetus. However, I have never thought that my singing is particularly good until tonnes of friends convinced me in so many ways (mostly harsh and mean) about it. So yeah, I've decided to start going public and joining the new normal: posting your singing in online medium, regardless of your skill level. Some are really horrible at doing it, but I respect their courage a lot. So yeah, below are the first four covers I've made so far. I don't care what people think about them, it's the happiness generated when I created them that only matters :)












That's all for now. Lemme close this post with a quotation I really loved yet I've forgot who said it: "If you want people to always remember you once you are gone, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing". Adios!