First thing is this blogpost contains a quite personal and serious topic. If you wish to get entertained by jokes, I kindly wouldn't recommend you to read it up. Hehe.
So, a few weeks ago, there was a friend of mine who told me that he sees a very strong and well-sustained character in me. He said that I always seemed tough and relax and cheerfully enjoying my life to the fullest, regardless of problems I've encountered throughout my days. Well, I considered that as a compliment.
Soon after, he asked me how I could become that kind of person since he thinks that he's never able to be one. I was pondering in silence for a while. Then, without any doubt, I answered his question. I told him that it's all because of my parents. They are really the ones who made me this strong.
He begged me to tell more stories about my parents. I refused. I told him it's an extremely sensitive topic for me. I always try my hardest to avoid that topic to get involved in any sorts of my conversation. He insisted and forced me to do so. As a total extrovert, I easily lost. I told him all the stories about my parents. I caught him dropped his tears a bit, I teased him all day long for being such a cry-baby. Haha.
He asked me to write those stories in my blog the other day, as he is simply motivated and slightly touched by my stories. I rejected to fulfill his request. But, guess what, here I am writing the story of my parents -____- Blame it on the extrovertedness ! :P
The Father
Let's start with the father of mine.
His name is USMAN ZUHRI. I always call him either Baba' or Daddy. He is turning 61 this year.
Dad might be one of the most conservative and not-so-open-minded men I've ever known. The fact that he really doesn't talk so much always makes me wonder how the hell that he could end up as one prominent politician in my town O_o
Yes, I have been raising up by a politician and trust me that it never really worked well. Dad got his LL.B (Bachelor of Laws) in a-local-university-i-forgot-what-its-name-was. He was a super busy man, his schedule would always packed. Having a quality time with him is a very rare phenomenon for each of his children.
His financial management skill is superb. We never could just ask him to buy anything we wanted. Even when we asked Mom to beg him. He always taught us that to gain something from him we had to achieve a certain milestone first. To get success in life, we must give all-out sacrifices. No fun, but a very imperative lesson indeed.
Dad is also an extremely religious guy. The most in our big family I would say. I don't know why that fact sometimes can seriously scare the hell out of me. Well, probably because I always can foresee that I would never be able to be as a religious as him. Gah!
The Mother
My mother was named AFIFAH, an Arabic word means chaste, pure, holy, sacred.
I called her Mama'. She was always that kind of annoyingly talkative lady. She crazily cared about the growth and self-development of each of her kids. It's not surprising at all though, as she was a primary school teacher whose commonly possesses that nature :)
Unlike Dad, Mom was a sport and artistic person. Dad was always the academic and serious one.
Unlike Dad, Mom would try anything to get everything her kids (and she herself) wanted. She was kinda extravagant sometimes, while Dad was always the very modest one.
Mom was a total fun, she shared stories and jokes a lot, her sense of humor was always hundreds of thousands times better than Dad's. She always laughed so loud as if nobody ever cared. Haha.
Well, let's move to the sad part of the story.
So, when I was 4, Mom got a terrifying stroke attack. Her right arm became totally dysfunctional. But she still worked as a teacher, her cheerfulness never faded away. She kept trying her best to play the mother role in the family. Ah, that angel in disguise! :')
When I was about 10, Mom lost her ability to talk properly. Things were changing slowly.
I started to think that Mom's condition would embarrass me in front of my friends. Thus, I never really let her meet them. My elder sister started to take over Mom's role. Dad was still as busy as a bee.
My elder brother couldn't handle the issues well; the lack of attention and parents' roles issues.
He's got murdered when he was 17. It really is a long story. The point is we were all so freaking devastated. Mom's the worst. Dad started to get closer to us, I bet it was kinda embarrassing for him. The story my brother had been published in local newspapers for a couple of weeks.
Since then, I promised my self to be unstoppable at making my parents proud. I started to join competitions and I got myself involved in organizations. People said I have achieved a lot, I believe I did. Despite the fact that my parents never attended and witnessed the moments I got awarded trophies and certificates of recognition.
Long story short, when I was 17, Mom left us forever. Dad wedded a stranger and my only one elder sister moved out of the town. I was a total mess. My attitude reached the worst and people hated me. I started to smoke, I didn't go to school, I wasted my money for crappy things, I dated two innocent girls in one time and I stopped believe in God. I hated God for putting me in such a misery. I was really lost.
Oh, I'm seriously having such a really hard time here, recalling these memories! *cold-sweating**tears-wiping*
Well, It took me almost a year to recover, to see things more clearly, to realize that I was being a huge fool, to realize that I had been torturing my people. I started to believe that pains and sorrows are supposed to make us stronger and tougher, instead of making us gradually weaker and eventually become a loser. I started to believe that God, in all of kinds of faith existed in this world, would never leave His worshipers in any kinds of life circumstance. I came to realize that losses can do nothing but strengthen us in a way nothing else could ever do.
So, I continued to reach the top and started to chase after my dreams again to keep surviving as my parents' pride. Until now.
Notes:
Today, It's been exactly 4 years since the last time I saw the peaceful face of my mother. Ah, I miss that angel in disguise so much. Every single day of my life, I beg Allah to treat her well over there. I really hope that He has been doing what I have been praying for Him to do. We might live in different worlds now, yet our love makes no distance! I still and will always love you till my last breath, Mama' :')
